Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just high enough for therapy.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
