next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
