i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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