youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
