Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
