dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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