There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
