Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Randomize
