I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
