Don't you send me to vm
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
