summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
