As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
