Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
