You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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