Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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