WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
