Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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