she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
