Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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