what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
ttyl tear gas
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
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