Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
