Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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