Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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