Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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