the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
