This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
