P.S. I can't hear my feet
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
