even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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