me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
