Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
