super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
