I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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