I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
