She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
