are you still at the devil's house?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
