omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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