Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
