he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
