My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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