half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
