Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
