Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
