My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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