So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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