I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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