so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
