I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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