Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
