so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
