I just saw a hot homeless man
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
