Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
this beer tastes like vomit already
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
