i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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