There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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